The Tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named
is not the eternal name.
The Tao is both named and nameless.
As nameless it is the origin of all things;
as named it is the Mother of 10,000 things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery;
ever desiring, one sees only the manifestations.
And the mystery itself is the doorway
to all understanding.
(Wayne Dyer’s translation from Change Your Throughts, Change Your Life: Living The Wisdom of the Tao)
Where to begin …
Knowing where and how to start writing about something like this is always a challenge. If you haven’t read my introductory post about My Tao Year, this will definitely seem a bit odd to you, so I’d encourage you to read that first.
For the last 4 days I have consciously attempted to live the wisdom and messages within this first verse of the Tao Te Ching – the verse Wayne Dyer calls “Living The Mystery”.
I’m not going to write a huge essay on what I noticed (or I’ll attempt not to!). I intend to just include a few observations from my own life with regard to each verse.
So what are my observations?
1. Many things in life cannot be named
Sitting at a New Year’s Eve barbeque with most of the community of my hometown, I became fully present to what I was experiencing – seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, thinking – and I was overwhelmed by the beauty of it.
I looked over at the dark clouds that framed the bright green eucalypts in the evening sun, with the white cockatoos screeching their noisy song, and I saw beauty.
I looked over at the people gathered at this community BBQ – people of all ages and generations, sharing each others’ company and bringing in the new year together. Many of them I’d know all my life or all their lives, many of them my relatives. And I saw beauty.
But could I truly put words to this immense gratitude I felt for having been blessed to grow up in this loving, nurturing community? Could I truly put words to exactly what this occasion felt like?
No.
It was both named and nameless like the Tao.
I realised I could write or speak for years and still not be able to capture in words what I was experiencing in that moment.
And it was then it occurred to me just how much of life is like that. In fact, most of life is like that.
Words are often so pathetically inadequate to capture what this life offers us – both pleasant and unpleasant.
Most of us know the impossibility of capturing in words the experience of falling in love or the love we feel for another person. Some of us are more poetic than others, using analogies to try to capture the experience, but regardless of how much of a wordsmith you are, words always fall short in describing the magic of love.
Ditto grief, sadness, betrayal and other less enjoyable emotions. The comment “words fail me” is uttered often for good reason.
These things are nameless despite being also named. Like the Tao – or because they are part of the Tao – they are both named and nameless.
2. Desire and allowing can exist together
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery;
ever desiring, one sees only the manifestations.
The difference between desiring and allowing has always been a conundrum for me. I always wrestle with the concept of desiring or wanting something, yet simultaneously being able to allow and trust that it will come, without forcing.
I often fall into striving and trying to force an outcome, and I won’t pretend I’ve fully grasped the concept of how we put into practice setting goals and working towards them, while at the same time allowing, trusting and not striving.
I admit to having trouble sitting with “the mystery”. I have always wanted to know how and why. I always liked mystery novels and movies because the answers were revealed in the end. This is not how real life works … sadly for me ;-).
During these past four days I have been eager to escape the uncertainty that surrounds my financial and business situation. In that process I have sought out the advice and mentorship of others, mainly because I realise I often don’t do this. I try to go it alone.
Being away over the Christmas/New Year break, I had the chance to tap into the wisdom of others close to me, but my first attempt at this did not go how I had envisioned it might.
It was only when I had the courage to try again, with no clear expectations, just a desire for what I’d like to come from the conversation, that I was able to have the productive conversation I had first hoped for.
I often find this.
When we are able to let go and allow things to happen as they will, with no fixed expectations, they usually move me closer to where I want to go.
Having fixed expectations is usually destined for disappointment because life rarely goes as expected. If we hold tightly to expectations and don’t allow space for the mystery to unfold, we will often come away disappointed, or even offended.
If we allow others to step into a space of no expectation they will often surprise us in a good way. If they only have the space of fixed expectations they will usually step into that space too – and depending on their personality and need to please, they will either go against our expectations or with them. Either way, there is no space for them to be their unique selves and offer their unique perspective.
Even if what they have to offer is not new to us, if we go into the conversation with a ‘beginner’s mind’ and listen as if everything we are hearing is for the first time, we will often gain a different perspective from what we have seen before.
3. Reading or listening to the verse daily and/or in times of stress really made a difference
Every day I read the chapter in Wayne Dyer’s book on the Tao related to verse 1, and I also listened to it on my audiobook version.
When I was struggling with something, I looked at how the messages in this verse could apply to that. This quote from Dr Dyer stood out to me: “Desiring is the physical expression of creating conditions that allow us to be receptive; that is, it’s in-the-world preparation for receiving”.
I had never looked at desiring or wanting something as “preparation for receiving”. I like that concept.
He goes on to say “From this ground of desiring, the flowering of the mysterious Tao grows. It’s as if wanting transforms into effortless allowing. Desiring, one sees the manifestations; desireless, one can see the mystery itself”.
I worked a lot on noticing the difference between the feeling of desiring in my body as opposed to allowing. This was more difficult when I was feeling strong emotions – the time when Wayne suggests to “Notice the desire for the feeling to disappear, and allow it to be monitored compassionately by you” – but I must admit that when I was feeling somewhat regretful for an action I took while experiencing one such strong emotion, the next sentence – “Accept whatever comes” – allowed me to find compassion and forgiveness for myself as just a human being doing her best under the circumstances.
4. I’m still in a hurry!
On more than one occasion I was tempted to jump ahead and read the next verse and interpretation. This happened particularly when I was uncomfortable and not enjoying the mystery at all! 🙂
BUT I didn’t jump ahead. I realise this is all part of the lesson for me – to be patient and sit with the one verse for a number of days to see what gifts it has to bring me.
And so my first 4 days of living the Tao are complete. I wondered today what I was going to write, but I realise that my focus on this verse for 4 days has brought with it many observations and lessons.
I’ll finish with a quote from Wayne Dyer again, from the first chapter of Change Your Thoughts: Change Your Life. I think it’s a good reminder not to get too caught up in analysis!
“Let the world unfold without always attempting to figure it all out” ~ Wayne Dyer
Anyone reading this can sign up for my 4-daily emails here and/or join our closed FB group by clicking on this link – My Tao Year – 2016 – and requesting to join. I’d love to hear your experiences as we go along.
The more the merrier on this journey of discovery!
Keep Smiling
Louise 🙂